is revision the enemy?

Not that I've had a whole lot of time lately to write (stupid grad school), but I have been reading about writing and trying to think of clever ways to deal with the fairy tale characterization issue. I've actually found Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine, Spilling Ink by Anne Mazer and Ellen Potter, and Take Your Characters to Dinner by Laurel Yourke to be pretty helpful in psyching me up to take on this task. I think maybe I need to always have a writing book on the side available to cheer me up when the going gets tough.

Anyway, I feel a little better about having to revise a million times, since that seems to be par for the course for "real" (read: published) writers.

But as I near the end of one part of my life (school) and head off toward another (being an adult?), I worry that writing isn't as front-and-center in my life as I want it to be and/or thought it would be by this time. Things like earning enough money to eat and attempting to sleep away depression tend to get in the way.

I suppose it all becomes fodder for the story.

I think it's time to invite Horatio and Nori over for tea.

the thing is, sometimes you need other people to read your work

Here's the thing about sharing your writing: It's scary. It's exciting. It can make or break your writing future in five minutes flat.

Because a good reader isn't necessarily a good critique-giver. A friend or family member may or may not be any better than a stranger. A kind word from a reader you don't know could make the difference between you giving up and you finishing your damned novel. A harsh word could keep you from writing ever again.

Not everyone writes for other people, and that's totally fine. I do write for other people, though, so even though I always write for myself first, I write with the intention that someday someone else will read (and hopefully enjoy) what I've written.

Sharing your writing is hard because it shows you're both fragile and strong at the same time. You have to be capable of both receiving criticism and ignoring it, depending on whether or not it's worthwhile. You're basically ripping out your heart, putting it on a plate with some nice garnish, and saying, Here, tell me what you think.

You have to be sure you really want to know what the other person thinks.

I've been working on my fairy tale for nine years now, which is completely ridiculous and has more to do with my gift for avoidance than with any real need to be focusing on the project this long. I've shared various drafts with people who've loved it, people who've been bored by it, people who've identified with the characters, and people who've felt frustrated and annoyed by them. Reading it myself, I've both loved and hated it. Some scenes feel just right; others feel lacking in some way I can't really define.

Horatio isn't easy to write. He doesn't quip brilliantly like Julien or exude snarky disaffected teenager like Adrienne. I understand his situation more than I really understand him.

Reading through a critique today, I finally got called out on that. Who is Horatio, and why should the reader care what happens to him? It was a bit like getting slap in the face (all that work and it's still not quite right?)...but a good one. I can finally explain what it is about my drafts that hasn't felt right: I still don't really know who Horatio is.

Is it possible to be both cautiously optimistic and severely depressed at the same time?

stuck in the mud

Haven't been using this space much, but I've definitely been thinking about it over the last few months. I really do want to journal about my writing life (which is at a stand-still right now...putting off writing query letters to literary agents doesn't do much for your self-esteem), but I never quite know the right way to go about it.

I've also been thinking it'd be good to have a space to blog about library-related stuff, seeing as I'm coming up on the end of my graduate school experience (!!).

We'll see if anything comes of this.